Wednesday, December 27, 2006

John Ringo Gets...Upset

John Ringo falls into a tirade about Amazon.com reviews...don't blame him. Hell, I even agree with him...
Prepare for a tirade.

Another writer who shall remain nameless refers to Amazon reviews as "the slush of reviews." It's for that reason that I've stopped reading them mostly. It's just...pointless.

But the really poor reviews of Into the Looking Glass are just so fucking braindead... I mean it brings a new meaning to "here's a dime, buy a clue."

Okay, item the first: Everything that any random character says does NOT constitute the beliefs of the author. In GENERAL the main character will, but even that is not a hard and fast rule. I point you to various writers of serial killer books (the entire Hannibal Lecter series, for example). All the authors are not, themselves, serial killers. Otherwise there'd be no time to arrest them all.

The one reviewer that used the position of an old lady character, that Heinlein can't write, as some sort of argument that I believe that Heinlein cannot write (quite the fucking opposite you ignorant dipshit) is just so... GOD HOW FUCKING CLUELESS CAN YOU BE. It's an old lady who had never been exposed to SF or for that matter a bad translation of Tolstoy, trying to read The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress. Which is entirely first person from the POV of a person who uses "Loonie-speak" which is not standard American English and thus, TO THAT CHARACTER, seems badly written and confusing.

Hand it to your 90 year old grandmother who has never read SF and she's going to have the same opinion.

What really pisses me off is that IT'S AN INDICATION THAT I NAILED THE CHARACTER AND MR. WRITING EXPERT CANNOT GRASP THAT SIMPLE REALITY.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

Then there are the braindead morons who are complaining because THE BOOK HAS TOO MUCH SCIENCE IN IT.

Hellooooo! Earth to idiots! SCIENCE FICTION. Try that again. SCIENCE fiction. Note the first word. HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO REPEAT IT?

God, God, God, I LOSE HOPE FOR THIS FUCKING PLANET.

I won't even bother with the people who found the main character "too impossible." Too many of the BFs know damned well who it was based upon and I actually had him lacking in weapons knowledge instead of a firearms collector and crack SHOT! Which he IS! Jesus. Doc grew up COON HUNTING! Thank God I didn't have him be as good with a gun as he actually is or the poor dears would have REALLY FOUND HIM UNREALISTIC!

Oh, and given that Doc spends about half his time in DC... It's not exactly impossible that in a similar situation he WOULD be called in. And if people think that the president of the United States, whoever he or she may be, cannot get their hands on a physicist in under 24 hours they're REALLY FUCKING STUPID. Drive a few hours from DC and there are areas where you can't swing a CAT without hitting a PHYSICIST. Albeit they're mostly Chinese.

For that matter, one reviewer thought that it was a violation of reality that the main character would "know the physicist involved." They CLEARLY KNOW SHIT FROM SHINOLA ABOUT THE PHYSICS COMMUNITY!!! Christ, those guys gossip worse than old women!

And they're spouting as if they have a fucking clue.

I really give up hope.

I'd say "rant mode off" but I'm not sure I'm done...

Jesus.

JFC.

JFC on a cracker.


BILLIONS OF BLISTERING BLUE BARNACLES IN A THUNDERING TYPHOON!

There are just no words for how idiotic those people are. I'm surprised they can read. Hell, I'm surprised they can breathe without someone whispering "in... out.... in... out..." in their ear!

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